


Mantra

by mywordsflyup



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Vaginal Sex, this is terribly sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:13:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywordsflyup/pseuds/mywordsflyup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has thought the words a thousand times but he has never said them out loud. It's time that she knows how he really feels. </p>
<p>Very fluffy first time between Cullen and Lavellan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mantra

_I love you._

He had thought the words a thousand times before he ever said them out loud. They had become a mantra in his head. Something he knew was true, was pure. Something that grounded him when the nightmares got bad. Because his feelings for her were the one thing he never doubted.

At some point, the fact that he loved her had just become part of her. Like the way the sun shone on her auburn hair. Or how her eyes gleamed when she laughed about one of their private jokes. Loving her felt as natural to him as the hours they spent hunched over the chessboard and that little steep line between her eyebrows that appeared whenever he was winning. As natural as their sparring matches or their discussions at the war table.

The words resounded loudly in his head whenever he saw her. _I love you_. When she entered a room. _I love you._ When he saw her from across the courtyard, laughing with the Chargers. _I love you._ When she put her hand on his as she noticed it shaking after another sleepless night. _I love you._ When he kissed her on the battlements.

But he never said it. Not until he was sure that she could feel the same. That she could look at him, a broken tired man, and still decide to love him. That she would take that step with him.

“Do you need to ask?” The smile on her face was genuine and his heart leaped.

Broken glass and laughter. He felt brazen, light-headed with excitement, as he swept his belongings off the desk. Reports and quills scattering across the room. This new thing between them, still fragile and awkward, made easier through laughter. So he smiled as he lifted her onto the desk and she giggled as she pulled him down into a kiss.

It was only later, when they had made their way up the ladder to his bed and undressed each other, that the words came back to him. _I love you_ , he thought as he looked at her, lying naked before him like it was always meant to be. She smiled at him, her face flushed and hopeful. As he bent down to kiss her, he suddenly knew that it was time.

“I love you,” he said, the familiar words heavy on his tongue. If she was surprised, she didn't show it. She looked at him from hooded eyes, a slight smile on her lips. Perhaps she felt it too. How it all came together naturally. No other logical conclusion but this. She caressed his cheek with a trembling hand and he leaned into her touch.

“Come,” she whispered and opened her arms to him. Everything hard and cold about her yielding underneath his touch. He fled to her as if she was his haven and he just a broken ship battered by the storms. Every moan from her lips a soothing balm. Every inch of her body salvation.

He trailed kisses along the line of her jaw, down her neck, over her collar bones. Tracing every scar, every freckle with his lips and tongue. He kissed the beating pulse point at her throat before wandering down further. When he grazed one of her perked pink nipples with his teeth, she made a gasping sound he had never heard from her before. His hands ran up and down her sides, memorizing her form. Further and further down until one hand cupped her sex. He could feel her shivering in his arms when his fingers gently grazed over her folds. She was already wet but he looked up into her face searching for a last hint of doubt.

“Is this alright?” he asked. Her face was flushed, her hair a tangled mess around her head. She bit her lower lip and nodded.

“Yes,” she answered breathlessly. “It's just been a while.”

He smiled. “For me as well.” He kissed the tender skin just underneath her breast. “We will take our time.”

And they did. Kissing until his lips felt bruised and swollen. Licking and biting and nibbling at every inch of her skin he could reach. He explored her body for what felt like hours, committing every part of her to memory. Some part of him still not believing that she would really stay. That she would not just leave him in the morning, stealing away like a dream.

When he finally slid a finger inside her wet folds and firmly pressed his palm against her sensitive bud, she came undone underneath his touch, hard and fast. She bucked against him and arched her back off the bed, her mouth a surprised O, but he held her in place and kept the pressure of his palm steady until she fell back into the sheets, her body limp and spent. The sound of her moans was enough to make his own arousal almost painful.

But he gave her time to catch her breath as he slowly drew patterns on the soft skin of her arms, her stomach, her breasts. From time to time he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on spots his finger tips had marked with goosebumps. But she would not wait any longer. Impatiently she pulled him up to her face, kissing him hungrily. He parted her lips with the tip of his tongue, drawing another moan from her.

Her small slender hand moved down his chest, wandering over the muscles of his stomach, following the trail of blond curls further down. When her fingers brushed against his erection, he made a small hissing sound that made her smile. He rested his forehead against hers as she pumped him with slow, determined strokes.

She looked deep into his eyes and she guided him to her entrance. Slowly he slid inside. _Finally_. His breath caught in his throat at the sensation. Her warm tight heat clenching around him, her lips claiming his in another desperate kiss. He began to move, still slowly at first. Giving her time to adjust. But she wrapped her legs around him, urging him deeper, faster. Hands clutching at his back as she pressed herself up against him. He was already close. Desire coiled tightly in his stomach, blood rushing loudly in his ears.

It fell from him then. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Words tumbling out of his mouth. Pieces falling into place and he could feel the world shift. “I love you” as he buried himself in her, again and again. “I love you” as his teeth grazed her neck. “I love you” as she threw back her head, moans like rippling water. “I love you” until the words melted into each other, losing their meaning, finding a new one. A prayer on his lips, already part of him.

Because it was true. And he would not keep it secret a second longer. He would claim this, claim her. This was how it was always meant to be. This was what he had chosen.

Their movements were more erratic now, lost in the chase. But he kept repeating the words, his mantra, into her soft skin as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. Her breath was brushing his ear, hot and fast. He could feel her hands scrambling for purpose as they roved over his back and he thrust into her, hitting a spot that made her break her silence. An almost primal sound escaped her lips as she clenched around him. Her body arched underneath him, fleeing and chasing the waves of pleasure that washed over her. The look on her face alone, shock and awe and bliss, was enough to take him over the edge. He snapped his hips forward once, twice, before spending himself inside her. The sweet ache of his release overwhelmed him, unraveled him. Something deep inside of him broke, something cold and hard and ragged. His mantra was lost, his words were lost. Replaced by a groan, a sob that grew inside his chest, rising, only to be swallowed by her kiss as she pulled him back down into her arms.

He could feel her heart racing underneath him, beating in time with his own. He propped himself up on his elbows, always scared of crushing her. She seemed so small sometimes. But when he looked down upon her face, he saw nothing but bliss. He had never seen her so happy. She had never looked so beautiful.

She cradled his face, both thumbs wiping away the tears he didn't even know he had shed. Her eyes so bright in her flushed face. Her lips pink and swollen from his kisses.

“Cullen,” she said and he had never heard his name spoken like that before. Like a precious, fragile thing. Like a promise.

Perhaps this was her mantra, for now.

 


End file.
